10 Yiddish Curses You Wouldn’t Wish on Your Worst Enemy

I speak Yiddish the way Chuck Schumer did in his 2022 campaign ad, dropping a kvetch here, a kvell there, a sprinkling of mishugaas, and of course some good old nachas.

Fran Drescher let loose this Yiddish phrase, “a leck mit a schmeck,” a lick and a sniff, which basically means a whole lot of nothing. Just saying that phrase out loud makes my vocal cords thrum with pleasure.  A leck mit a schmeck. Try it.

We all use Yiddish words, whether we realize it or not. Tell me you’ve never said chutzpah, dybukk, golem, meshuggah, klutz, bupkis, blintzes, kishkes, shpiel, nudnik, shmaltz, gefilte fish, glitch, kibbitz, plotz, nosh, mench, maven, shmooze, yenta, or my favorite: feh.

Or how about these pejoratives which oddly all begin with a sh sound: shicker, shlepper, shmutz, shmo, shlump, shmendrik, shlemazl, shlump, shonda, shnook, shmattah, and many more.

Other random Yiddish trivia:

Did you know the iconic actor James Cagney spoke Yiddish fluently?

I.B. Singer said, when he won the Nobel Prize in Literature: “Ghosts love Yiddish and as far as I know, they all speak it.”

How did Yiddish get to be so juicy?  Here’s a theory: Throughout the millennia, Jews had no agency or power, and certainly no armies.  Their money, possessions and very lives could be yanked away in a second, and often were.  What couldn’t be taken away were their thoughts and words.  Many Jews used their very lack of power to develop a moral genius and a different kind of power. Instead of conquering other lands, they conquered pages of the Talmud and tried to vanquish their character flaws to become more giving, compassionate human beings.

And sometimes Jews got a little tired of being persecuted and being so good, so they packed all their frustration, wit, humor, pettiness and fury into the spoken word, and voila – you got Yiddish.

These proverbs are meant to be enjoyed and not employed against other people.  And if you have any juicy (and unfoul) ones of your own to offer, please do in the comment section below.

1. May you be so rich your widow’s new husband will never have to work another day.
Zolst du zayn azoy raykh, az dayn almunahs man zol darf keynmol nisht arbetn a tog.  

2. You should be turned into a blintze, and a cat should eat you.
Vern zol fun dir a blintshik un di kats zol dikh kayn.

3. May your wife eat matzah in bed and may you roll in the crumbs.
Zal deyn veyb esn mtsus in bet aun ir zalt zikh zeml [I don’t think this correct, zeml means a roll. My attempt would be]:
Zol dayn vayb essen matzos in bet, un du vet zich valgeren in di breklach.

4. May your husband’s father marry three times, so that you have not one, but three mothers-in-law.
Zol dayn man’s tatte khasunah hoben dray mol, un du vest hoben nisht eyn, nor dray shviggers.

5. May the lice in your shirt marry the bedbugs in your mattress, and may their offspring set up residence in your underwear.
Zoln di lise[??] in dayn hemd khasunah hoben mit di betgevgns vantzen in dayn matras, aun zeyer zoymen zoln zikh aynshteln in dayne untervesh.

6. May you make a fortune and afford your medical bills.
Zol ir makhn a mazl aun farginen zikh deyn genug tzu batzolen dayn meditsinish bills.

7. May you be reincarnated as a lamp: hang by day, burn by night, and be snuffed out in the morning.
Migulgl zolstu vern in a henglaykhter, by tog zolstu hengen, un bay nakht zolstu brenen un morgen zayt oyslesht.

8. Go to hell and bake bagels!
Gey tsu gehennum un bak beygels!

9. Stay healthy because you can kill yourself later.
Blaybt gezunt vayl ir kenst teytn zikh shpeter.

10. May all your teeth fall out but one, and may that one give you a toothache.
Ale tseyn zoln dir aroysfaln, nor eyner zol dir blaybn af tseynveytik

As a reward for anyone who reached this far, here are few classic lines that aren’t curses:

Sleep faster, we need the pillows.
Shlof gikher, me darft di kishn.

If everyone brought their bundle of troubles to sell in the market, each person would quickly take back his own.
Oyb alemen gebrakht zeyer pekl fun kopdreyenish tsu farkoyfn in di mark, yeder mentsh volt geshvind tsurikgenumen zeyn eygene.

Dress up a broom, and it will look nice too.
Az men putz ois sheyn a bezem, iz er oykh sheyn.

I care like a cat cares if it’s Wednesday.
Ikh zorg vi a kats zorgt oyb es iz mitvokh.

The post 10 Yiddish Curses You Wouldn’t Wish on Your Worst Enemy appeared first on Aish.com.