Putting Someone Else First

This week’s Torah portion forbids charging interest when lending money to one’s fellow Jew. The verse teaching this prohibition ends, “and your friend shall live with you.” The simple understanding of these words is that your friend will be able to support himself like you, without being caught in the trap of paying interest for loans.

However, Rebbe Akiva famously derives a different lesson from these words in the Talmud in Bava Metsia¹. The Rabbis discuss the case of two people who are lost in the desert and one has a flask of water that is sufficient for one of them to survive before they reach the nearest settlement. Ben Petura rules that the person must share his water with his fellow, even though they are both likely to die in that scenario. Rebbe Akiva argues based on the words “and your friend shall live with you” implies only after you, but you come first. Therefore, in this scenario, where only one can survive, the one holding the flask is allowed to keep it for himself even though it means that his fellow will likely die.

The commentaries note a seeming contradiction to another halacha taught in the laws of Eved Ivri. The Torah teaches that in certain circumstances a Jew must become an Eved Ivri – a servant to another Jew. Despite the fact that he is in servitude, the Talmud teaches that the master must treat his servant very well. Indeed, he must equate the servant’s standard of living to his own.² Tosefot goes even further and writes that sometimes the master must treat his servant better than himself. For example, if the owner only possesses one pillow, if he would keep it for himself, he would violate the Torah’s requirement to give his slave equal treatment, therefore, he must give it to his servant, and not keep it for himself, even though it means he has no pillow.

The commentaries ask that this law seems to clearly contradict Rebbe Akiva’s concept of Chayecha Kodmim – that one can put himself first in the case where there is only one flask of water. Why in the case of the Jewish servant do we not say that one can put himself first, and the owner can keep the pillow?

A number of answers are given to this question. Some commentaries differentiate between the cases – they argue that in the desert, the question is of saving one’s life and we know that nothing stands in the way of saving one’s life (except for the three cardinal sins). Accordingly, the person who has the water is permitted, and many hold, obligated, to keep the water for himself in order to save his life. However, in other areas, where one’s life is not at risk, a person should put his fellow first, hence the ruling of the master of the Jewish servant.³

The Maharam Shiff offers another answer. He points out that there would be a major technical problem with obligating the person with the water to give it to his fellow. Once his fellow, receives the water, he is then in turn obligated to give it back to the first person, and so on ad infinitum. Therefore, it is not feasible to obligate him to give it to this fellow and he can keep it himself. In contrast, in the case of the Jewish servant, while the master is obligated to give him the pillow because of the Torah mandated obligation to treat him equally, there is no equivalent obligation on the part of the servant to give it back to the master.⁴

The Ponevezher Rav, Rabbi Yosef Shlomo Kahaneman, suggested a totally different answer to this question, from which he taught a fundamental principle about how we should feel about the pain of our fellow.⁵ The context of the Rav’s answer is fascinating: Among his other great accomplishments, the Ponevezher Rav founded an orphanage in Bnei Brak to absorb and care for the many orphaned children who had been rescued from the Holocaust and were sent to Israel. Unfortunately, with the first group of children scheduled to arrive on a Sunday, the Rabbi found himself without any linens or pillows for the children to sleep on due to the dire situation in Israel at that time. On Friday, with two days remaining until their arrival, the Rabbi announced that he would be speaking on Shabbat afternoon in the largest shul in town.

He began his speech by posing the contradiction cited about the case of the people in the desert and the master’s obligation to the Jewish servant. How could the Torah obligate the master to give up his own pillow for the sake of the servant, when the Talmud teaches that we put ourselves first.

The Rav explained that there is no contradiction, as the requirement to give the pillow to the servant actually derives from the Torah’s concern for the primacy of the owner’s well-being. If the master were to keep the pillow and lay down in comfort while observing his servant trying to sleep without a pillow, then his conscience would bother him so much that he wouldn’t be able to enjoy the pillow and a good night’s rest. Therefore, in order to allow the master to be at peace with the arrangement, the Torah requires him to give the pillow to his servant for his own well-being so that he can sleep soundly through the night.

Similarly, the Ponovezher Rav dramatically continued, in only one day, a large group of Jewish orphans would be arriving at the new orphanage in Bnei Brak, which was completely lacking pillows and sheets on which they could sleep. Comparing this to the case of the master and the servant, the Rabbi wondered how any of those present could go home and enjoy a comfortable night’s sleep now that they were aware of this situation. Accordingly, he advised them that for their own well-being, they should immediately donate the only pillows and linens in their possessions, a suggestion which was indeed fulfilled by the listeners as soon as Shabbat was finished.

We learn from the Ponevezher Rav that because of the very idea that we are allowed to put ourselves first, there are times when for our own well-being, we should give precedent to those who are less fortunate than ourselves, because if we do not, then we should not be able to sleep peacefully while our fellows are suffering.

1. Bava Metsia, 62a.
2. Kiddushin, 20a.
3. See Ben Yehoyada, Bava Metsia, 62a. One possible problem with this answer is that we do not see that in general a person is obligated to put his fellow before himself. Rather only in the specific case of the Jewish servant, the master must give him his pillow, because of the master’s specific obligation to treat the servant as well as himself.
   A second issue with this answer is that it seems to contradict other sources in Chazal and the Poskim that clearly hold that the concept of chayecha kodmim also applies to areas not relating to pikuach nefesh. See Bava Metsia, 80b with Ran; Igros Moshe, Yoreh Deah, Chelek 1, Simun 145.
4. Maharam Shiff, Bava Metsiah, 62a.
5. Cited by Parshat Pot Pourri of Rbbiv Ozer Alport. It seems that this answer is more in the realm of a homiletical explanation) than applying in Jewish law, however, on a practical level it is very relevant.

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