Rewards of Silence

“Do not give him your money with interest.” (Vayikra 25:37)

Words Hurt 

In our times, the misuse of speech—ona’at devarim, causing harm with words—is becoming increasingly widespread. This includes not only insults or mockery, but also speaking harshly, talking back, or responding with disrespect. 

We must strengthen ourselves not to follow the ways of the surrounding culture, which often normalizes sharpness and sarcasm in everyday conversation. 

One of the greatest challenges in this area is the temptation to make a clever or cutting remark about someone else. It’s a moment where one can display wit or intelligence, perhaps to win a laugh or impress others. But beneath the humor often lies a subtle form of self-promotion—using another’s dignity as the cost for feeling smarter, funnier, or more important. 

R’ Naftali Tzvi of Ropshitz, zt”l, once said, “With a straight joke (i.e., what is called in Yiddish ‘Gleich Vert’el’ after a name that hurts and pierces the soul of the person about whom the joke is said) a person can go straight to Gehinnom.” 

This idea is rooted in Chazal which said (Bava Metzia 59a) that Hashem punishes all sins through a messenger, except for verbal wrongdoing which He punishes immediately Himself. 

The Reward of Silence 

The reward for a positive attribute is far greater than a negative one. Therefore, if a person overcomes his Yetzer Harah (evil inclination) and restrains himself from saying hurtful words, Hashem will send him an immediate reward, as it says in Menoras HaMaor (Siman 58), one who is careful not to cause pain to others, will merit that all his requests to Hashem will be answered. 

The pasuk says (Mishlei 21:14): “A gift given in secret appeases anger…” R’ Menachem Mendel of Kotzk interpreted this pasuk to mean, that when a person restrains themselves from making a clever but cutting remark at someone else’s expense, it is considered as if they gave a “secret gift.” Such an act of self-control, he taught, has the power to nullify any harsh decrees that may have been issued against them in Heaven. 

R’ Aharon of Belz similarly taught in the name of his father, R’ Yissachar Dov of Belz: “When a Jew has the opportunity to hurt someone or say something sharp, and instead holds back, it is regarded in Heaven as if he had fasted 84 fasts.” 

R’ Aharon then added, “That’s what my father said in his time. But now—after the devastation of the Holocaust, when people’s spirits are more fragile—if someone refrains from hurting another, it is considered even greater. And greater. And greater still.” 

The great sage R’ Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld once remarked, with his characteristic sharp wit: 

 “It is well known that the dogs were rewarded for not barking at the Israelites during the Exodus, as it says (Shemos 22:30), ‘You shall throw it to the dogs.’ 

“But this raises a question. The frogs are praised for jumping into the Egyptians’ ovens—willing to be burned alive to fulfill Hashem’s command. Why, then, didn’t they receive a similar reward? 

“From this, we learn a profound lesson: Remaining silent is even more difficult than jumping into a burning oven. And for that silence, there is eternal reward.” 

Real Joy 

The tzaddikim explain the connection between the month of Adar and its zodiac sign, the fish, in a profound way. While animals cannot speak, they still communicate through various sounds. Fish, however, are completely silent. 

Adar, the month of joy, is associated with fish to teach us that true joy comes to one who knows how to seal their lips—who refrains from speaking hurtful words. Such silence, born of self-restraint, opens the gates to a life of lasting joy. 

The pasuk says (Tehillim 107:30), They rejoiced that they were stilled… On the surface, the pasuk refers to sailors who rejoice when a storm at sea subsides, but it can also be understood as referring to one who is in the middle of a heated argument and has the ability to respond, but, instead, yet he exerts immense self-control and holds back. As a reward, he merits joy. 

R’ Elimelech of Lizhensk, in Likutei Shoshana on Mishlei, offers a beautiful explanation of the verse (Mishlei 15:23): “Joy to a man through the answer of his mouth…” He teaches that when a person disciplines their mouth—holding back from forbidden or harmful speech—they are rewarded with true joy. 

In the Tanya (Part I, Chapter 27), it teaches that when a Jew holds back from speaking words that his heart burns to express, he brings about a powerful spiritual effect: the forces of impurity in the upper worlds are subdued, and the forces of holiness are strengthened. In return, a higher level of holiness is drawn down upon him—empowering him and uplifting him in his service of the Creator. 

In Pirkei Avot (5:23) it says, “According to the effort is the reward (Lefum tza’ara agra)… Some explain that the Aramaic word “Lefum” means “to the mouth” in Hebrew (peh). Meaning, that when a person puts in the effort to control his speech, the reward is unique and special. 

According to this, we understand what is written in this week’s parsha. The pasuk says (Vayikra (25:17), And you shall not wrong, one man his fellow Jew, and you shall fear your God, for I am the Lord, your God…This teaches that Hashem Himself provides the reward for someone who restrains himself from hurtful speech, as Rashi explains in several places whenever it says “I am the Lord”, it means He is faithful to give reward. 

We can now interpret our pasuk that says “Do not give him your money…” The word for money, (kaspecha) can also be translated as “your desire” as it says (Bereishit 31:30): “You greatly yearned (nichsof nichsafta) for your father’s house.” When you desire to say something, as the pasuk instructs, you cannot give it with interest. Meaning, do not use words that sting, that can be hurtful to someone else. 

The pasuk concludes, “I am the Lord your God, who took you out of Egypt…”—teaching us that Hashem Himself will reward this restraint. Just as the Jewish people merited redemption from Egypt because they did not adopt the Egyptian language or its harmful speech—using words to wound—so too, one who guards their tongue today aligns with that same merit and is promised Divine reward. 

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The Kalever Rebbe is the seventh Rebbe of the Kaalov Chasidic dynasty, begun by his ancestor who was born to his previously childless parents after receiving a blessing from the Baal Shem Tov zy”a, and later learned under the Maggid of Mezeritch zt”l. The Rebbe has been involved in outreach for more than 30 years and writes weekly emails on understanding current issues through the Torah. Sign up at www.kaalov.org.