Extreme Joy: A Bereaved Father’s Mission to Bring Happiness to Families of Fallen Heroes

From his warm and enthusiastic greeting to heartfelt wishes for a great day, Amichai Ressler projects positivity and optimism that is contagious. Anyone who comes in contact with him can’t help smiling and feeling a little better about the world.

Amichai says that he learned to make everyone happy from his son, Dvir Haim, an IDF hero who was killed on October 7^th while saving the lives of his friends.

Amichai is committed to perpetuating his son’s legacy. To this end, he founded Extreme Joy, a project offering Jeep tours of the Judean Desert to families of fallen heroes.

It’s not easy for Amichai to maintain his happiness. “I’m trying my best,” he says in an exclusive interview with Aish.com. “What gives me strength to wake up every morning is the understanding that my son, a hero, gave us life. I am not happy about what happened but I am very happy with the gift that we got. I miss him so much! But because I understand the privilege, I’m trying to live my life only with positivity and optimism. And this is what I’ve been doing for the past 15 months.”

Dvir Haim Ressler

Dvir’s Gift

Dvir was the oldest of four siblings. From early childhood, Dvir brought light and joy to everyone around him. “He always noticed when someone was sad or needed anything,” shared his mother, Ravit, in a video memorial.

Amichai recalls, “He made everyone around him happy. How did he do it? Very simply – he gave everyone a feeling that they are the only one in his life. He gave them so much light! He saw the special, unique light of everyone. And that’s what made them happy.”

Dvir’s happiness united others. Amichai explains, “When you’re happy, people want to know why you’re happy. People want to be around you. It brings unity.”

Dvir’s lifelong dream was to serve in the elite Golani unit in the IDF. He attended a yeshiva, followed by a premilitary academy, and was thrilled to be accepted into Golani. Eventually, Dvir became a commander of a unit.

In the days before October 7^th, 2023, 21-year-old Dvir was stationed at an IDF outpost near the Gaza border. He was supposed to go home for Simchat Torah and spend the holiday with his family. However, true to his nature, he noticed that a fellow soldier seemed unhappy. He asked the soldier what was wrong and found out that the soldier was scheduled to spend Simchat Torah on the base and would be missing out on a family event. Dvir immediately offered to switch with him. And that’s how he found himself on the army base on the morning of October 7^th when the base was penetrated by terrorists.

At the first sound of sirens, Dvir ran around the base, making sure that everyone under his command made it to a protected space. Satisfied that everyone found a safe space, Dvir entered a small shelter together with two of his friends.

From the shelter, Dvir and his friends heard gunfire and shouts in Arabic. They understood that terrorists were right outside their door. Dvir grasped the door handle and held it tight. He felt the terrorists trying to open the door but he wouldn’t let go. The terrorists gave up and left.

Unfortunately, the terrorists later returned with explosives which they attached to the door. Dvir, who was standing right next to the door, was killed in the explosion. His two friends who were behind him survived. Dvir’s quick action had saved their lives.

Amichai’s Resolve

In the aftermath of October 7^th, it took the IDF four days to recover Dvir’s body and inform the family about what happened to him. His mother, Ravit, says, “I knew that Dvir was not alive. He would have found a way to get in touch with us.”

When the dreaded news finally came, the family felt grateful, despite their grief. Ravit says, “The first thing I did was thank God – for getting a definitive answer, for the fact that Dvir was killed and not taken hostage, and for the story of his heroism. Dvir was too perfect for this world.”

At the funeral, Amichai spoke about his heroic son. “I told everyone, ‘I’m the father of Dvir Haim. He gave us life, he gave us happiness. I will do all in my power to continue my son’s legacy and make people happy.’”

Since then, Amichai has remained true to his word. On Passover last year, he conducted his first Extreme Joy tour. To date, ten such trips have taken place, with more in the works.

“We are helping families like ours to continue their lives,” says Amichai. “It’s not easy, but it helps to think positive. We take them to the desert in Jeeps and ATVs. We take them for extreme rides, to give them extreme joy. I tell them during the trip, ‘Your sons, the heroes, gave you life to stand on this land. We need to show everyone that we are happy and that we understand this privilege. Then the rest of the Jewish people will understand it also.’ This gives us strength to continue our lives. This is how I see the life that I got. This is how I see what I’m doing. And this is what helps me, again and again, to wake up in the morning, thank God.”

Amichai’s love for the Land of Israel is just as contagious as his optimism. During each trip, he gathers everyone in one place and reminds them, “We are standing on holy land. This is the land that God gave us. This is the land of our forefather Abraham.”

He tells the groups, “Look around! Look at the view! You are standing on two feet and looking at the beautiful land that we got. Because of whom? Because of our heroes. They gave their lives for us. We need to continue their lives. They gave us life to be happy. They are looking at us from Heaven, and they are happy when we are happy.”

Throughout the trips, the families talk about their heroic sons or brothers who had given up their lives to protect others. They strengthen each other and help each other find joy in life.

The trips are appropriate for all ages. Some trips are intended for a specific demographic. Amichai organized a special trip for widows of IDF soldiers, and another special trip for fathers and sons. The common denominator is that the trip participants are dealing with war-related loss.

The participants call the trips the best gift they’ve received. And the joy on their faces is precisely what keeps Amichai going.

Happiness through Giving

Amichai does not take life for granted. Especially since losing his son, Amichai has thought a lot about the meaning of life. He believes that God gives us good things in life in order for us to appreciate them, to enjoy them, and also to use them to help others.

When the soldier with whom Dvir had switched places on Simchat Torah told Amichai that he felt bad that Dvir got killed because of him, Amichai responded that it was just the opposite – he had given Dvir the opportunity to become a hero.

“You helped Dvir fulfill his mission,” Amichai told the soldier. “His mission was to go and save the two soldiers he was with. Keep smiling! You gave Dvir the privilege of doing what he was meant to do.”

Amichai feels that he, like everyone else, is in this world on a mission. He sees his mission as being happy with his lot and bringing happiness to others. Ultimately, he says, giving to others is what makes us human beings happy.

Amichai is committed to bringing Extreme Joy to anyone who could benefit from it. He invites everyone to “come see it and feel the energy.” The positive energy generated on the trips and the enthusiastic feedback from the participants give him the strength to continue on his important mission.

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