Finding and Achieving Your Life’s Purpose

Today, many people struggle as never before to discover their purpose as distinct individuals. This isn’t surprising given the bombardment of information, images, and choices that our brains struggle to process. The steady encroachment of AI adds to our sense of insecurity about our unique value and usefulness.

But finding our purpose is an essential life task, and in his new book, On Purpose, author Rabbi Mendel Kalmenson offers a roadmap to rise above the noise and discover it. The book is filled with stories about how the Lubavitcher Rebbe advised individuals from all walks of life to leverage their challenges and apply their strengths, skills, traits and passions in building a fulfilling life. Aish.com recently sat down with Kalmenson to discuss the some of main themes of the book.

Aish.com: How does the world of social media and the competition to become an “influencer” make it harder to find one’s purpose?

Kalmenson: We live in a hyperconnected world where everything, good and bad, is at our fingertips. We have so much information and so many choices that choosing any direction in life has become harder. In fact, many young people today find the question, “What is our purpose?” to be paralyzing.

A century ago, most people lived and died within the same communities. They were known and their voices were heard. Today, among millions of voices, we feel smaller, not bigger. It’s no wonder we have the rise of so-called influencers because people want to be heard and seen. It seems narcissistic but if you strip back that rendering you see a generation that deep down wants and needs to be a source of light.

The Lubavitcher Rebbe understood that each of us is called upon to be and reflect divine light. There’s a dark side to the internet and social media, but it has also democratized influence. Its existence reflects a spiritual reality.

Aish.com: So how does a person learn to ignore the static of social media and information overload to find their purpose, particularly in terms of career?

Kalmenson: By looking inward and reflecting on your inner makeup, including personality, character, passions, talents, and even vices and struggles, you will find a host of internal indicators that are clues and tools to help you discover and fulfill your Divine purpose. The circumstances, events, and challenges you encounter also help direct you to the people, places, and opportunities that are uniquely yours to uplift.

Even serious struggles and traumatic events can be part of these indicators because sometimes going through a Herculean challenge is the only way to excavate and channel the power of the soul. In fact, Jewish spirituality posits that struggle is part of our purpose in life.

“Where what you want to do meets what needs to be done, that is where God wants you to be.”

A moral or personality challenge such as anger or lust can in reality be a divine invitation and indicator of your ultimate purpose. So can trauma. As an example, a man who told the Rebbe that he had been sexually abused in his youth was advised to become an advocate for victims of such abuse. The man would obviously never have chosen to have this trauma but he turned it into a point of light.

It’s natural to ask about such hard things, “Why me?” But from the divine perspective, you were uniquely selected and empowered to do something that most people cannot do.

Aish.com: How important is finding your talent, or finding work you are passionate about?

Kalmenson: From the spiritual point of view, your talent isn’t simply a pleasant thing where you play guitar or paint as an outlet for creativity or to decompress. Your talent is your instrument to play God’s music in the world. Passion is also important, provided it reflects a sustained commitment, not a passing fad. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks summarized the advice he received from the Rebbe about finding his own mission when he was a young adult: “Where what you want to do meets what needs to be done, that is where God wants you to be.”

It’s also helpful to follow the advice from the Mishha to “acquire for yourself a friend,” a trusted mentor or friend who will give you a more objective perspective about yourself and what is the right path for you personally.

Aish.com: Setbacks may be a steppingstone to finding one’s purpose, but they can also be depressing. How can a person rise above that setback state of mind and push forward?

Kalmenson: Through internalizing the idea of Divine providence. This teaches that every single aspect of your life’s circumstances is orchestrated by God with loving intention: every event, encounter, and even detour in your life is intended to bring you into deeper contact and alignment with your life’s purpose.

Through this heightened sense of Divine consciousness, all of life becomes one continuous conversation with God. Ideally, under any circumstance, we can learn to ask, “God, what would you have me do now?”

Aish.com: Why is it important to write a mission statement, as you suggest? Can the mission statement change over time?

Kalmenson: The Lubavitcher Rebbe once advised a young man that he should stay in yeshiva and the man asked why. The Rebbe then asked him to draw a perfect circle, which of course he realized he could not do unless he had a compass. The Rebbe gave him the compass and then he made the perfect circle.

The lesson was this: “All the knowledge and experience we accumulate throughout our lifetimes; all of our activities and endeavors are the circles we draw. We may draw many circles. But a person must have a center: a clear and cohesive purpose around which all of their knowledge and activities orbit. Without a focal point, without a mission, the circles in one’s life will be jagged and incomplete.”

A mission statement can be just a sentence or two, and based on changing circumstances and evolving understanding of the self, it may change over time. The mission statement of humanity as defined by the Mishna is: “I was created to serve my Creator.” The ways I am called on to serve God at different moments and stages in my life may vary, but the core mission statement remains the same throughout.

Aish.com: Is it more important to have a meaningful life or a happy life?

Kalmenson: There are two ways to live life: One is seeking ways to maximize pleasure and minimize discomfort. This person asks, “How can the universe serve me?” The other way is to ask, “How can I serve humanity?” Based on the mystical premise that every one of our souls was given a specific portion of this world and society to elevate and illuminate, the person wakes up each day and asks, “How can I fulfill my mission on this earth? How can I be a partner with God?”

True happiness is a byproduct of a life of purpose. And part of our purpose is to rejoice in our specific purpose. The happiness that endures is the happiness that stems from being aligned with our purpose.

Aish.com: If you could summarize the book into one sentence, what would it be?

Kalmenson: The day you were born is the day God declared that the world cannot exist without you. The rest is commentary.

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