Five Things to Tell Your Child Today

It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day grind of raising kids. Take a moment to pause, step outside the situation, and make sure to communicate at least one of these phrases to your child today.

1. I am so fortunate to be your mom.

Parenting may be hard at times, but it’s a privilege. Your children need to feel that you enjoy being their parent, not that they are a burden or are getting in the way of your to-do list—or worse, your life.

As you are tucking them in at night, you can hold your children close and let them know how grateful you feel.

“I’m so lucky to be your mommy. I can’t believe how blessed I am that God chose you to send to me.”

2. I give you a blessing that…

According to Jewish tradition, every Friday night we bless our children. While there is a standard blessing that can be recited, you can also take the opportunity to bless your children in your own words.

Often, my blessings include the following words:

“May God protect you and keep you safe. May you make good choices and may God send you your soulmate. May you be successful in all your endeavors, and may you learn Torah and choose to do good deeds and show kindness.”

I typically add in something personal to their current life, like:

• “Make the basketball team.”
• “Be a good friend.”
• “Have the strength to stick up for someone being bullied.”
• “Get an A on your math test.”

You don’t have to wait for Shabbat to bless your children; you can give them a blessing anytime. Words have power whenever they are shared. The best part of all? The blessing comes right back to you, because your children can bless you, too!

3. You are one in a billion.

Mel Robbins states that scientists estimate that the odds of you—yes, you—being born to the parents you were born to on the date of your birth are one in 400 trillion (or some other insanely high number).

You – and your child – are walking miracles. If you are on this Earth, that means you have some significant purpose to perform.

Your kids need to know that there is no one in the world like them. Tell them how unique and special they are.

With younger children, you can share the story of their birth and tell them the first words you said when you saw them. My seven-year old loves for me to describe how I reacted when I saw her and to mimic how I snuggled with her as a baby. She feels special and loved. We could do this nightly, and it never gets old for her.

(P.S. in case you are curious, the first thing I said when I saw her was: “[Gasp!] You’re so beautiful!”)

4. Thank you for…

While your child should show respect and thank you for all you do for him or her each day, you also can—and should—thank your child for anything that they do for you!

Think of any positive actions, words your children have used, or acts of service they have done over the past week, and make a concerted effort to show your appreciation for them. Here are some examples to get you started:

• “Thank you for loading the dishwasher.”
• “I’m so glad you got your homework done right away after school.”
• “Thanks for playing with your little sister.”
• “Grandma was so happy you called her before Shabbos.”
• “I noticed you made your bed without being asked.”
• “I really love it when you take the time to give me a hug goodbye.”

If you can’t think of anything your kids did to please you this week, then you need to read this: https://aish.com/five-cs-of-positive-parenting/

5. You are special because …

“You make me laugh.”

“You have more energy than anyone I know!”

“You are so beautiful, both inside and out.”

“You are honest.”

Every trait your child possesses can be seen through a positive or negative lens.

Parenting teacher Nili Couzens hones in on this idea. She explains that a child who is a “dreamer” could be viewed as either spacey or imaginative and creative. Or, a natural comedian could be considered disruptive at times, or also a delight.

“Have a child who’s stubborn? Stubbornness can be a great trait, too. Being stubborn will serve them well when they grow up and face the challenges of the real world… It all depends on how you present their qualities to them. Our role as a parent is to tell our children what’s great about the innate attributes God blessed them with and guide them on how they can use each one positively. Whatever God gave them is part of their unique package.”

Every trait your child has, no matter how challenging, can be an asset. Let each child know what traits make him or her unique, and be sure to point out when those things are on display or come in handy.

Our children are in our care for such a short window of time. By using these phrases, we can help make these impactful but fleeting years as meaningful and loving as possible.

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