How to Stay Positive While Looking for Your Soul Mate

When will I finally meet my soulmate?

After many “unsuccessful” dating experiences this question becomes especially intense. Doubts, questions and expectations can create negative tension in a person’s life, influencing the quality of their day-to-day experiences.

Here are some insights from a Jewish perspective that helped me to maintain a positive mindset in the dating process.

Your Soulmate Exists

He or she is living, breathing, and walking somewhere right now.

Your soulmate has already been born, which is good news. You may not know where they are or who they are, but they’re out there.

More importantly, he or she is looking for you too. It’s only a matter of time before you meet, with the help of God.

Timing Matters

There can be many reasons why you’re not together yet.

Maybe you or your soulmate isn’t fully ready to meet. For example, one of you may need to move to a new city — or even a country, or call that shadchan, or break that bad habit that would prevent you from tying the knot.

In any case, it is just a matter of time before it happens.

Every Date Moves You Forward

Remind yourself that every “not successful” dating experience brings you one step closer to your soulmate.

This mindset will help you keep moving forward and reframe past experiences when things don’t go as expected, reminding you that there are thousands of interesting people you don’t yet know exist.

Among them are a few who may be your soulmate (yes, according to Judaism, there can be several soulmates at any given time for a particular person).

Happiness is Attractive

Stay happy and positive, and enjoy your single life to the fullest.

Happiness is attractive. You want to meet your soulmate in a positive mood, not with your head down, looking at your shoes.

When you’re in a good mood, you exude more attractive looks, vibes, and energy that will help you attract the right person at the right time.

Make the best of your single life for yourself, and then share your good companionship with another decent person.

Search with Balance

Sometimes, singles take two extreme positions: one is not searching at all or putting in minimal effort, and the other is searching excessively.

The Talmud (the primary source of Jewish religious law and Jewish theology) teaches that a person needs to look for their second half as if they were searching for something they have lost. This means it is out there somewhere but is currently lost. Therefore, you should search for what is lost until it is found.

However, the Talmud does not teach searching exclusively or neglecting personal growth while living your life and preparing to meet someone in the best condition possible.

When there is only searching, you risk neglecting your own development; when there is no searching, there are fewer opportunities to find a partner.

In this way, your thoughts, actions, and emotions may not align, failing to show the world your real desire to find a life partner. Somewhere between these extremes lies a healthy balance.

Inspired by Jewish wisdom and personal experience, I created KosherConnect—a private, marriage-focused platform where Jewish singles meet through matchmaking tools, personal introductions, and live events in Israel and abroad.
You can join for free: https://kosherconnect.me/?ref=674f0ea88a0518db60bca6a0

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