Making One’s Own Name

Shemos, 35:30: “And Moshe said to the Children of Israel, ‘see, Hashem has called by name, Betzalel son of Uri son of Chur, of the Tribe of Yehudah.”
Midrash Tanchuma, Vayakhel, Os 1: “…You find that there are three names that a man is called: One is what his father and mother call him; and one is what people call him; and one is what he acquires himself. The best of them all is the name that he acquires for himself.”

Moshe tells the people that God has called by name Betzalel to build the Tabernacle. The Midrash on this verse teaches that each person has three names – the one that his parents call him; the one that others call him, and the one that he acquires for himself. It concludes that the one that he acquires for himself is the best. What exactly is the meaning of this Midrash and how does it connect to the fact that God called Betzalel by name?

We know that unlike other languages, names in the holy tongue of hebrew represent the essence of a being or item. For example, the Torah relates that Adam gave names to the animals. This doesn’t mean that he gave arbitrary names to each animal, such as dog or cow. Rather, he was able to perceive their essence and define them. Indeed, the word for name, ‘shem’ is the root of Neshama, one’s soul, because one’s name demonstrates their essence.

When the Sages say that a person has three names, they don’t literally mean that his name changes, rather that there are three formulative influences on a person that define his essence in different stages of his life. After a person is born, his parents raise him.  His parents form the character traits that he possesses for a part of his life.  This means that the ‘name’ which represents the qualities of the soul implanted in a child during his formative years by his parents is the first ‘name’ a child is given.  A child’s parents, values and aspirations profoundly shape the first 10-15 years, or whatever amount of time, of his life.

As the child reaches teenage-hood, any parent can testify that there comes a time when a parent’s influence on a child begins to weaken and he is more influenced by the people around him. This is the second ‘name’ that a person has. This means that the influence the friends have on the essence of the person’s personality, values, and way of thinking is critical to his essence and they too, at a certain stage in his life, largely define who he is.

However, the Midrash continues that all of this only goes so far.  Ultimately, a person must ultimately define who he is for himself.  Thus, the Midrash says that a person’s third and final name is the one he gives himself. This is defined by what he does with the gifts and talents and building blocks that he has acquired during the early part of his existence.  The Midrash concludes that the most important ‘name’ a person has is the ‘name’ he gives himself, representing who he becomes, because this is the only name through which a person can reach his full potential, unencumbered by external influences.

This idea is beautifully brought out by an explanation of the verse in Ecclesiastes written by King Solomon: “A good name is better than precious oil”.¹ King Solomon is extolling the value of a good name by favorably comparing it to oil. Rabbi Zev Cohen² asks why specifically is a good name compared to oil and not another valuable substance like wine or honey? He explains that other liquids, such as wine, when mixed with water, get absorbed into the water and do not remain separate. In contrast, when oil mixed with another liquid such as water, it rises to the top and remains distinct. In this way, oil refuses to be absorbed, and it asserts its identity. King Solomon, then, is teaching that a “good name” is the one that a person develops for himself and it is even better than oil in that it demonstrates that a person has developed his own sense of self, which is not defined by the influences of family or society.³

Returning to Betzalel – he had tremendous yichus – he was a great-grandson of Miriam, and a grandson of Chur. Yet in Vayakhel he reached his own personal by attaining the level where he could build the Tabernacle. Accordingly, the Midrash about acquiring a good name is stated when Betzalel is called by his name, indicating, his reaching his personal potential.

In recent times, a shining example of this idea of finding one’s own role through his talents and desires, is the great Rav Yitzchak David Grossman. Born into a prestigious rabbinic dynasty in Jerusalem, it would have been natural for him to follow a well-trodden path of scholarly leadership. However, after witnessing the spiritual disconnection of Jewish youth, he decided to make an effort to bring them back. He ended up in the secular neighbourhood of Migdal Ha’Emek, even getting the name ‘the Disco Rabbi’ as the place where he found the youth was in discotheques. Out of this radical empathy, he eventually founded Migdal Ohr, a network of schools and outreach programs that have transformed tens of thousands of lives. By refusing to be defined by his family’s reputation or the religious establishment’s norms, he accessed a deeper layer of the root of his soul and his ‘name’ has become synonymous with love and empathy, and he proves that finding one’s own purpose in life is the correct approach.

May we all merit to attain our own true name.

1. Ecclesiastes, 7:1.
2. Asher LeShlomo, Iyun 31.
3. One may ask that according to this explanation, a good name should be equal to oil, but not better than it. Perhaps the answer is that, based on the idea that a person has three names, the ultimate name – the one that a person develops himself, does not come naturally to a person, rather he must make intense effort to find his own identity. In contrast, oil naturally separates from other liquids.

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