Mothers of the Hostages: 3 Purim Lessons

Drama, intrigue, tragedy, triumph. The Purim story has it all. But it’s not just ancient history.

Purim reminds us that there were many instances throughout Jewish history that the Jewish people faced difficult and frightening trials, and Jewish heroes and heroines rose above their personal circumstances and lifted us up as a nation.

Queen Esther was put in a terrible situation not of her choosing, and she rose above her pain and tragedy and became the catalyst for the salvation of the Jewish nation. Since October 7^th, we have witnessed how to face adversity with courage and faith from new heroines – the mothers of the hostages in Gaza.

1. Hope is mandatory

How do you cope when your child is being held captive by monsters and the darkness threatens to swallow you? How do you continue to function when you feel like there is no air left to breath?

Rachel Goldberg-Polin, the mother of Hersh who was kidnapped from the Nova festival and then murdered in captivity, spent months traveling around the world and speaking to anyone who was willing to listen, raising awareness about the hostages’ plight and trying to secure their release. She said that even as their lives were turned upside down, hope was still mandatory. “The opposite of hope is despair, and we are not going there.”

Lena Troufanov, who was kidnapped and later released, expressed the same sentiment. Her only son, Sasha, was kidnapped from the kibbutz where he was vising his parents on that Shabbat. “Because what else do I have? My husband was murdered that day and I still don’t know how he was killed. My house was burned. And my son – my only child – is still in captivity. So what do I have? Only to hope and pray that he’ll return.”

Lena Troufanov with her son Sasha upon his release from captivity

Thankfully, Lena’s hopes and prayers were realized, and he was recently released.

2. Our strength lies in our unity and love for one another

Our enemies know that our strength is through our unity. They rejoice when they detect rifts between us. They spare no effort to sow strife and discord among us. When they think we are too busy fighting each other, they feel safe to attack us.

Sheli Shem Tov, mother of Omer who was kidnapped from the Nova festival, released a message to the Jewish nation: we have forgotten that we are all brothers and sisters. Stop the arguments and unite! She had a strong feeling that the October 7th massacre came about because of all the terrible infighting that preceded it. Among other things in her struggle to get her son released from captivity, she worked tirelessly to organize events and bring about opportunities for different segments of Israeli society to meet and get to know and appreciate each other. Her message: we must make space for another’s opinion with compassion and respect, without having to agree or to argue.

Iris Haim won our hearts with her message of love, unity and hope. Her son, Yotam, was kidnapped from his home in Kibbutz Kfar Aza and was later mistakenly identified as a terrorist and shot by the IDF when he managed to escape his captors. October 7^th made her realize that what unites us is greater than what divides us. Before October 7^th, she used to only associate with people who were like her. And then Yotam was kidnapped and all of Israel stood up to help her and her family. She realized there was this whole other Israel she knew nothing about.

Iris and her son Yotam

Now she advocates for everyone to do away with the us vs. them mentality, left vs. right, religious vs. secular. Iris made a point to send the message to the soldiers that were broken-hearted about what happened to Yotam, that she and her family were not angry, the soldiers did what they had to do, they were not to blame, and that she loved them. She has become a symbol of hope and unity.

3. Resilience comes from drawing strength and faith from Jewish tradition

Many mothers of hostages report that they try not to listen to the news; instead they surround themselves with positive and spiritual messages. They feel it helps them stay strong, hopeful and positive and sends their children the strength they need to survive. They choose to focus on unity and prayer and good deeds.

The events of October 7^th have caused many of them to reconnect with their Jewish roots. They pray and do various mitzvot and encourage others to do the same as a spiritual merit and protection for their children.

Julie Kupershtein, mother of Bar, kidnapped from the Nova festival and still held captive in Gaza, encourages others to put on tefillin in his merit and also started an initiative to pair up a volunteer with a hostage in whose merit he will put on tefillin, until “his” hostage returns. Sheli Shem Tov and Lena Troufanov started keeping Shabbat and reciting psalms.

The Purim story teaches us that even in the times of darkness and pain, it’s still possible to find light and optimism, values embodied by these hostages’ mothers. These heroic mothers rise up every day to fight for their children’s release, pulling the nation up with them.

Ditza Or, mother of Avinatan, kidnapped form the Nova festival and still help captive in Gaza, relates that every day she allows herself to feel the pain and sadness and fear for a certain amount of time but then she puts it away and locks that door, and reminds herself to stay strong, keep going and remember that all this is part of God’s much bigger story.

Sigi Cohen, mother of Elya kidnapped from the Nova festival and who was released recently, sums it up beautifully: “Each one of us needs to listen to that small voice telling us that God believes in us. We have strength. Do not allow yourself to fall.”

May we again experience a miraculous salvation, just like in the days of old!

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