When We Lift Others, We Become Uplifted

As I scrunched my oversized bag into the tiny overhead compartment on the flight to Cleveland, I heard an angry grunt from behind me. Quickly realizing that my hat box attached to my backpack was smacking a grown man in the face in the seat behind me, I turned to see a hardened, tattooed, 60-ish military veteran glaring back at me. I began apologizing profusely, then briefly glanced up at the seat number. 19E. I was 19F.

I turned back to him and smiled “Oh man, now you have to sit next to me for the whole rest of the flight!”

A reticent but sincere smile crossed his face. “Oh great, isn’t that perfect” he grumbled, still wearing the smile.

I continued to poke fun: “At least you can elbow me back for the next two hours!” By the time I sat, we were on our way to amicability, possibly friendship. I asked him about his tattoos – he was a combat medic – I thanked him for his service and told him my dad was in the Navy.

As our conversation progressed, he told me about his Catholic sister-in-law turned Reform Rabbi. I asked him if he was a practicing Catholic, to which he responded, “I don’t need to talk to a man if I want to talk with God.” I gave him a friendly punch in the arm – “Now that’s what I’m talking about!”

Seeing I was dealing with an opinionated, well-thought-out man with a lot of life experience, I pressed on and asked him, “What was your big takeaway from being a combat medic?” He replied “To have a heart of service.”

I love that expression. “A heart of service.” Let’s keep this theme in mind as we delve into this week’s Torah portion.

An Uplifting Census

God commands Moses, “Take a census of the sons of [the Levite family of] Gershon.”^{<href=”#footnote-1″>1} The Hebrew word for “take a census” is Naso. Or is it? The word Naso in almost every other context means to “carry” or “lift up,” as seen in the very next verses where the Torah uses “Nasu” to mean “They shall carry (the panels…).”^{<href=”#footnote-2″>2} Therefore, Rashi goes out of his way to explain that “Naso” doesn’t ONLY mean to raise up – it ALSO means to count!^{<href=”#footnote-3″>3}

This isn’t merely linguistic coincidence. The Torah could have used the word “pekudei,” like in other places, if it merely wanted to convey counting.

The Maharal of Prague explains that the choice of “nasso” signals something significant – the Levites weren’t simply being counted; they were being elevated.^{<href=”#footnote-4″>4} Appointed to transport the sacred vessels of the Tabernacle, these men received not just a task but a transformation. Their identity shifted as they accepted the weight of divine service on their shoulders—quite literally, as they carried the disassembled sanctuary through the wilderness.^{<href=”#footnote-5″>5}

This count elevated these men to a new level of responsibility for bringing God’s presence into our world through their service of carrying, assembling, and breaking down the Tabernacle.

Servant Leadership

This theme of uplifting appointment continues later on in the Parsha when the tribal princes bring gifts to the Tabernacle. Interestingly, the word the Torah uses for prince is Nasi. Sound familiar? It should – it comes from the same root letters as Naso, which we defined as an appointment to a higher level of responsibility.

A Nasi—a Jewish leader—is not just charismatic or ambitious or strong. A Jewish leader is someone who takes responsibility for his fellow man – who lifts up the people around him. By lifting others, he becomes uplifted.

The Torah verifies this definition by giving the background to these princes: “The princes of Israel… they were the princes of the tribes” (Numbers 7:2). Why specify “they were the princes of the tribes”? Rashi explains: “[These princes] served as taskmasters over the tribes in Egypt, yet accepted beatings to spare their brethren.” These leaders earned their positions by putting their lives on the line to protect others.

The Torah’s message is unmistakable: he who takes responsibility for others, even at the expense of his own life, becomes lifted up – becomes a leader – becomes a “nasi.”

Carrying Your Marriage

When I became engaged, I was struck by Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe’s advice to grooms about where to place their focus on their wedding day. Instead of suggesting thoughts about love or future children, Rabbi Wolbe told his students to simply contemplate the Hebrew word for marriage: “Nisuin.” Like Naso, this word means to carry, to lift up, to bear with patience. That’s the role of a husband in his marriage.^{<href=”#footnote-6″>6} When he gets married, his wife’s moods, needs, and peculiarities become his sacred responsibility.^{<href=”#footnote-7″>7} He learns to bear them not as burdens but as privileges—opportunities to transcend his natural self-focus. Through bearing with patience (savlanut), he becomes someone capable of true intimacy and growth.

This responsibility transforms him. The man who emerges from years of marriage has developed muscles of compassion and forbearance impossible to gain any other way.

Concentric Circles of Responsibility

This theme of expanded responsibility follows through the life cycle of every Jew. A child is born completely selfish and dependent on others, but the Torah guides us through expanding circles of obligation at each stage of life.

• At Bar Mitzvah, he begins the process of taking responsibility for himself.
• At his wedding, he takes responsibility for his wife.
• At the birth of his children, he takes responsibility for his family.

Ultimately, if he seeks to become a true leader – a Nasi – he takes responsibility for the entire Jewish Nation. A life lived according to Torah values progresses from a heart of selfishness to a “heart of service.”

Cultivating an Expanded Self

Though Judaism offers many paths for cultivating this “heart of service,” I’d like to suggest one particularly accessible practice that is already built into our daily routine: praying in the plural.

The Amidah—Judaism’s central prayer—uses “we” language throughout. “Forgive us.” “Heal us.” “Bless our year.” If we pray consciously, this daily habit reshapes our consciousness. By consistently placing ourselves within the community through language, we gradually rewire our instincts from “me” to “we.” It’s a spiritual neuroplasticity exercise—small but transformative when practiced consistently.^{<href=”#footnote-8″>8}

This week, try this micro-habit: before your next Amidah, take a moment to remember that your prayers include the entire Jewish nation and ultimately affect all humanity. Then step forward, carrying this expanded awareness into each blessing.

May we each acquire a “heart of service” and become the Nasiim for our generation!

Shabbat Shalom!
Avraham

Inspired by the teachings of Rabbi Beryl Gershenfeld, Rosh Yeshiva of Machon Yaacov and Founder and CEO of Meor

1. Numbers 4:22
2. Numbers 4:25
3. See Rashi on Numbers 4:2
4. Gur Aryeh on Bamidbar 4:22:1
5. Uplifting counting actually starts even earlier in the book of Bamidbar, with the very first lines of the book using the same term of “raising up” to count the whole Jewish Nation. This count is also an uplifting of responsibility because each member of the Jewish Nation is receiving his or her placement within the camp in order to best serve the nation as a whole in its mission to enter and conquer the Land of Israel and bring the Torah out to the world.
6. The wife also must do this carrying for her husband, but in Judaism, it is the man who takes responsibility for his wife. The marriage contract they sign before the chuppah states explicitly that he must support her physically, emotionally, and financially; not vice versa.
7. This is not about unhealthy codependency, but rather about developing the inner strength to remain steadfast and supportive through life’s challenges.
8. If you don’t have a consistent prayer practice, start small: find a time throughout your week to simply read the words of the Amidah prayer and connect to their meaning. For me, starting at 26 years old, I found these ancient prayers of our sages surprisingly powerful and pertinent to my life today, as if they’d been written just for me.

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